Everything's SPN - even work...
Feb. 3rd, 2013 10:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
growyourwingsI had a conversation on FB this morning with the partner ("L") of one of my friends ("C", who is also a coworker and staff member). Which led to me relating all this to SPN. Of course, everything's about SPN (lol.) But this? This is personal and core for me.
It started with L linking to this great article, "Ready for a Vulnerability Hangover?", about Brene Brown, who's 2010 TED Talk, The Power of Vulnerability, is one of my favorite TED Talks (see the TED Talk below.)
Brown has other great TED talks and a book which is now on my Kindle reading list:
It started with L linking to this great article, "Ready for a Vulnerability Hangover?", about Brene Brown, who's 2010 TED Talk, The Power of Vulnerability, is one of my favorite TED Talks (see the TED Talk below.)
Brown has other great TED talks and a book which is now on my Kindle reading list:
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead |  |
.
But how does this relate to SPN, you ask?
I had a less than positive (understatement) experience at a previous workplace. And I wasn't the only one. When I was laid off from that toxicity at the end of 2008 (thank everything that is holy), I took a year hiatus in 2009.
I had already grown to love SPN and had been to my first conventions. In addition to my husband, SPN was my lifeline of sanity and positivity during my darkest days at work.
After much soul searching during my hiatus, I had determined that in whatever position/role I found myself in the future, I would base it on what I'd learned was the work environment of SPN. And I would use empathy and vulnerability in my conduct with others. I wasn't using the phrases "vulnerability and empathy" in my head. The phrases I used were "it's all about the people" or "nothing is more important than the people."
I had learned in my previous workplace that appearances were everything. I was implicitly encouraged to appear to be what I wasn't. Perfect. And I was to expect others to do the same. But this created a dissonance in me that, I believe, made me and others, distrust me. I could not fully adopt the principles of that workplace. No matter how hard I tried. So also part of my determinations of my 2009 hiatus, was that I would never again be anything other than who I was and would act in concert with my personal beliefs. Even if that went against the organization's or my boss's beliefs. And if my beliefs did not fundamentally align with the organizations? I would leave. Or with my boss's? I would find a new boss. Never again.
Being yourself is scary. Vulnerability is scary to do (See: "vulnerability hangover in the article I linked). Sometimes I find myself slipping and "pretending" again. Just to shield myself. Usually and luckily, at some point I remember the "dark years" as I like to call them. And I recommit myself to being myself, letting people see who I am, and expressing my vulnerability. Letting people know that sometimes (frequently?) I've no f'ing idea what I'm doing; that I'm just winging it. Letting people know about my failures. My fear of failures of any kind. My sometimes fear of appearing spastic when I let myself express myself as who I am. My fear of the impact of my professional appearance if I let coworkers know me on a personal level; let them into my non-work life.
I did not want a repeat of where I came from, rather I wanted what I observed and heard was the working conditions of the crew of Supernatural. Yes, everything's about Supernatural (lol). Whatever. As you all know, the show has a well known reputation for being a wonderful and supportive place to work. A key foundation for that was veteran Director Kim Manners, with his, "we spend too much time together to not enjoy each others' company" statements. And we've heard Jared and Jensen state they realized that whatever attitude they adopted would be felt and spread by their coworkers. So they determined to always been supportive and positive. And it's been remarked upon over and over again by others. And it shows in so many ways.
I try to tell my coworkers that my obsession with this show is not because they are "OMG, AKTORS!" Or they are "OMG, GORGEOUS!" I've been a background fangirl all my life, but I've never gone to this extreme. What really drives my obsession, is all this I said above. It's how it's positively impacted my personal life. This attitude that Kim Manners, Jared, Jensen, and all the others have adopted has not just impacted their immediate coworkers. It's impacted me. Directly and personally. In very many ways. And given the phenomenon of the conventions, I think it's impacted a hell of lot of others as well.
.
But how does this relate to SPN, you ask?
I had a less than positive (understatement) experience at a previous workplace. And I wasn't the only one. When I was laid off from that toxicity at the end of 2008 (thank everything that is holy), I took a year hiatus in 2009.
I had already grown to love SPN and had been to my first conventions. In addition to my husband, SPN was my lifeline of sanity and positivity during my darkest days at work.
After much soul searching during my hiatus, I had determined that in whatever position/role I found myself in the future, I would base it on what I'd learned was the work environment of SPN. And I would use empathy and vulnerability in my conduct with others. I wasn't using the phrases "vulnerability and empathy" in my head. The phrases I used were "it's all about the people" or "nothing is more important than the people."
I had learned in my previous workplace that appearances were everything. I was implicitly encouraged to appear to be what I wasn't. Perfect. And I was to expect others to do the same. But this created a dissonance in me that, I believe, made me and others, distrust me. I could not fully adopt the principles of that workplace. No matter how hard I tried. So also part of my determinations of my 2009 hiatus, was that I would never again be anything other than who I was and would act in concert with my personal beliefs. Even if that went against the organization's or my boss's beliefs. And if my beliefs did not fundamentally align with the organizations? I would leave. Or with my boss's? I would find a new boss. Never again.
Being yourself is scary. Vulnerability is scary to do (See: "vulnerability hangover in the article I linked). Sometimes I find myself slipping and "pretending" again. Just to shield myself. Usually and luckily, at some point I remember the "dark years" as I like to call them. And I recommit myself to being myself, letting people see who I am, and expressing my vulnerability. Letting people know that sometimes (frequently?) I've no f'ing idea what I'm doing; that I'm just winging it. Letting people know about my failures. My fear of failures of any kind. My sometimes fear of appearing spastic when I let myself express myself as who I am. My fear of the impact of my professional appearance if I let coworkers know me on a personal level; let them into my non-work life.
I did not want a repeat of where I came from, rather I wanted what I observed and heard was the working conditions of the crew of Supernatural. Yes, everything's about Supernatural (lol). Whatever. As you all know, the show has a well known reputation for being a wonderful and supportive place to work. A key foundation for that was veteran Director Kim Manners, with his, "we spend too much time together to not enjoy each others' company" statements. And we've heard Jared and Jensen state they realized that whatever attitude they adopted would be felt and spread by their coworkers. So they determined to always been supportive and positive. And it's been remarked upon over and over again by others. And it shows in so many ways.
I try to tell my coworkers that my obsession with this show is not because they are "OMG, AKTORS!" Or they are "OMG, GORGEOUS!" I've been a background fangirl all my life, but I've never gone to this extreme. What really drives my obsession, is all this I said above. It's how it's positively impacted my personal life. This attitude that Kim Manners, Jared, Jensen, and all the others have adopted has not just impacted their immediate coworkers. It's impacted me. Directly and personally. In very many ways. And given the phenomenon of the conventions, I think it's impacted a hell of lot of others as well.
.
