SPN 6x20 episode reaction (spoilers)

[growyourwings]

First things first....I enjoyed this episode.  About halfway through the episode I found myself thinking that the episode actually had me engaged and not enraged or despairing.  Which is somewhat more than other parts of S6.

So I enjoyed the episode. Does it live up to past season build-ups to finale? Nope.  But that didn't impact my enjoyment...which really leads me to reflections on my feelings about S6 overall.

I responded to a couple of folks on LJ last night about the episode and have been reading online reactions this morning.  As I'm doing so, my thoughts/feelings about this episode and S6 overall are finally crystallizing I think.   Did I "OMG LOVE!" this episode?  Nope.   But this episode, and reading and thinking about it, has helped me to understand my troubles with this whole season.

So I'm going to do what fickleone has taught me not to do with this season...pick apart and over-analyze the episode.  I'm actually even more glad for this episode since it's helped me to understand my feelings around S6.  And, in a way, reassure me about those feelings.  So this reaction is going to be long and likely rambly as I work through my S6 feelings.

A few folks pointed out that this episode was "stylized" to be a film noir episode.   Perhaps that explains the fact that one of the things I had trouble with in this episode was the narrative style.  It felt clunky and cheesy and I didn't really like it.  I didn't hate it.  Just didn't care for it.    And since I've never cared for film noir (for the same reasons I found myself disliking the narrative and cheesy style of this episode), it makes sense that I wouldn't care for the style of this episode.  And since Sera (and others) have repeatedly said this season was patterned after film noir, it was like an anvil hitting me this morning.  Part of my overall trouble with S6 is the very thing the show runner/directors/writers said they were trying to do with this season...film noir.   Duh.   Color me dense.   So I guess they succeeded.   I remember before the season started that I was leery and definitely not excited to hear anyone say the season was to be patterned after film noir.  The only film noir films I've ever liked are Bogart ones.  And that's because I LOVE Bogart...so I let myself forget/overlook the film noir aspect.

So back to this episode...

I definitely thought the opening narrative was ... um ... stupid?   The fish climbing out of the muck (don't step on it Cas! lol.)   And the use of early silent film clips ... well, made me pull up and go, "what the crap is this?" 

I had no expectations for this episode as I was completely spoiler free. I didn't even know the name of the episode, or it's focus. I hadn't read any interviews or even read anything at all about the episode. Somehow I missed any build up.   So I was not in the same place as many people who I guess had built up all these expectations either around a very Ben Edlund episode and/or a very Cas-centric episode (or even a finale-building episode.)

I didn't know this was to be a Cas-centric episode.   I knew we'd have to hear more about what was up with Cas given the previous episode, but I didn't know this episode would be centered on him.    Or maybe better said, centered through him???

So here's the thing.  When Cas was first introduced in S4 I LOVED the character.   I was very intrigued by the character.   And I continued to enjoy the character through S5.  

However, S6 Cas?   Kinda leaves me meh.  (And that makes me sad.) 

Also, don't hit me Cas/Misha lovers, I've almost always been somewhat bored by any Cas-centric episode.  For example I was well and truly bored by the Jimmy episode (I can't even remember the ep's title.)  I've said it before, and I'll say it again, for me this show is always about Sam & Dean.  About their relationship and connection.   Everything else is backdrop and, for me, needs to somehow relate and/or highlight or serve the Sam & Dean relationship.   That's just the way it is for me.   And it's one of the reasons this show has grabbed me more than any other TV show ever has.  Even if I like other characters, such as Castiel, Bobby, and others, they only exist as characters (in my mind) to circle around and/or tell something about Sam & Dean. 

And while I am a Dean girl and I have enjoyed Dean-centric episodes in the past, overall my enjoyment factor for any episode goes down when it doesn't involve both brothers...together.  I love Sam as well and have enjoyed Sam-centric episodes.  But if this show ever became truly about just one of the brothers, even if it was just about Dean...well my love for the show would be impacted to the extent that I might stop watching.   I'm not sure I could continue to watch, for example, if the show was about Dean & Cas with no Sam.  The show *IS* Sam AND Dean.

When it became very obvious in the first few minutes that this was to be a Cas-centric episode, I got very worried for my enjoyment factor.   I actually thought, "uh-oh, Cas-centric episode, prepared to be bored."  I also found myself thinking about how they could POSSIBLY do a Cas-centric episode so close to the finale???!!!  I actually found myself getting a little outraged!  Loling at myself now.   However, I was not bored after all.  It was actually the first Cas-centric episode that didn't bore me.   And that I found myself enjoying.  (Overlooking the narrative style and noir-style self-reflection.)   

I commented elsewhere that perhaps that was because, despite being narrated by Cas, the story was focused on at least Dean, if not also at times Sam & Dean.   It wasn't focused on the relationship of Sam & Dean (but I guess you can't have everything all the time.)    And since I am a Dean-girl, having Cas be all torn up because of what Dean may think/feel about him or what he is doing...well, hits my Dean-girl buttons.   

So, for me, a win for this episode is the fact that it was a Cas-centric episode that engaged me, didn't bore me, and that I enjoyed (likely because it was also so Dean-focused.)

An added plus for this episode is that it (somewhat) got me more interested in the Heaven Civil War and Mother of All/Eve storylines.   Up until now these two seemingly unrelated storylines left me, like S6 Cas, meh.   Actually more than meh.  I was completely not interested in either storyline.  (And don't even get me started about the wasted potential of the Campbells.   What a travesty was that.  I had such HIGH expectations for that.)

Which in a weird way led me into my enjoyment of this episode.  As I mentioned above, fickleone taught me to just sit back and let myself enjoy the ride this season without picking it apart.   But I was only able to follow her advice after going through internal torture for the first half of S6.  

The first part of S6 shattered any expectations I had for this season to live up to past seasons. And I'm not kidding about my use of the word shattered.   I can admit that Soulless!Sam was hot and Jared rocked playing him.  But the very existence of Soulless!Sam and what that did to the brother-relationship broke something inside me about the show.   During the time period that the brother relationship was so successfully severed, my internal emotional tie to the show was also severed.   And I really, really hate to admit that I'm having trouble healing it.  

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE how the brothers have been since Sam got his soul back.   And I want that to continue and I think it's continuation may well continue to heal my shattered expectations.  But that shattering meant that I had to really write-off any expectation for this season.  As well as any interest in the storyline(s) woven into the season.   I no longer cared about the storylines.   And once I admitted that to myself and took fickleone's advice to just sit back and enjoy Sam & Dean...well my enjoyment factor for individual episodes started creeping back up again.

In past seasons the mytharc episodes have been my favorites.   I loved the unfolding of the details.  So it was hard for me to enjoy the season since I had no interest in the the underlying, season-long, seemingly disparate storylines.

I told fickleone that I think part of my disinterest in S6 storylines is because Sam & Dean don't really have any skin in the game, so to speak.  Yeah, sure they are fighting against whatever Big Bad(s) there are and yeah, they might die (for the 10,000th time.)   But the overarching storyline is NOT ABOUT THEM.   The mytharc running through S1-S5 had Sam & Dean woven into it in an integral way.  

Hmmm.  So I guess even the season overall storyline has to be centric to Sam & Dean.  Like the characters have to be all about Sam & Dean and their relationship. 

And honestly, I don't think the show has done a very good job this season with the Heaven Civil War/Cas/Raphael, Crowley/Pergatory/Campbell, and Mother of All/Eve storylines.   Obviously they are supposed to be all tied together and last night's episode's purpose was to show how they all tied together.  Which helped, at least a little, to get me more interested in those storylines.   But I think the three storylines remained too separate and disjointed for too long.   I never really felt the sense of looming catastrophe from any of the stories as I did from the Apocalypse storyline.  The only storyline that had any real impact on me was the Soulless!Sam storyline--and that had perhaps a very negative impact on me; and not in a "good", angsty negative way.

So, to summarize (wow, long much?)...

   - I enjoyed the episode.  The Cas-POV that kinda also made it Dean-centric.
   - I liked that they FINALLY tied the disparate storylines together.  I wish they had done so earlier.
   - I continue to LOVE that the brothers are totally TOGETHER.  (I admit that when Cas first returned to heaven in the flashback to the aftermath of S5 and he mentioned that each soul has their own individual heaven..I was hoping for a Sam&Dean soulmate type of comment such as "except for soulmates such as Sam and Dean who share a heaven together.")
    - While I didn't mention it above, I continue to enjoy Crowley.  I'm glad he's back.   And I like scenes with Cas & Crowley together.  (Although I could without some of Crowley's yelling.  He's best when he's snarkily and menacingly pointing out painful truths to other characters.)
   - I didn't enjoy the narrative, film noir style.
   - I realized that the intent to have S6 mimic film noir has contributed to my over meh-ness and/or dissatisfaction with S6.
   - The show and it's characters and it's season-long mytharc/storylines, must remain centered on Sam & Dean and their relationship for me to be engaged with either the season or a character.

And finally for me to enjoy S6, I've had to let all my expectations go; after much self-angst and hand-wringing. And now I just sit back and enjoy the pretty and the fact that the guys (all 4 of them) are still on my screen and the show is still around.

Hey I DID have the thought during the scene where Cas was in the ring of fire that Sam/Jared was looking DAMN FINE. (Not that Jensen & Misha weren't--but Jared just kinda caught my attention in the prettiness department in that scene. What can I say....I can be shallow sometimes.)

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